What goes on?
by Tori Yuki Ichimura
Summary: PG for dirty little Ai... Ai Orikasa that is! Okay, okay... Bad joke... ^__^ Meet the Japanese voice cast!
1. Default Chapter

Tori: Ha-ah! *finishes `Speak of the Devil'. Stupid thing nearly took me a month!  
  
Kegawa: *not really interested* ...why?  
  
Tori: Distractions...  
  
Ke: You mean sorority parties.  
  
Tori: *holds head* Yeah, those...  
  
Ke: Want me to introduce the fic?  
  
Tori: Would you be so kind?  
  
Ke: This is a collection of lines flubbed, purposely and not, by the Japanese voice cast.  
  
Tori: And also the audition for Duet.  
  
Ke: They find the seiyuus to fit the characters at the same time they're animating it.  
  
Tori: I'm sure there are many more, but these are just the ones I heard for myself.  
  
Ke: While working overtime?  
  
Tori: While trying to find the Goddamn benjo... Pain in the ass hard to navigate building...  
  
Ke: *whispers* She got lost yesterday when she went for a job interview.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
[A/N: I only got to sit in on these because Mrs. Hiyabasa wanted a second opinion from someone who knew the characters. Ai Orikasa is sooo funny! ^___^ She kept messing up her lines on purpose to make Shigeru Nakahara blush. I'll use the charas' names instead of the seiyuus' so you'll know who I mean. Oh, and these are the tryouts, so not all the seiyuu will be the ones you hear in the dub. Also, these are not ALL the lines, only the ones I can remember at the moment.]  
  
((scene where Quatre leans out window and asks Trowa his name))  
  
Shigeru Nakahara (Trowa): I have no name. But if you must call me something, call me Trowa. Trowa Barton.  
  
Ai Orikasa (Quatre): Can I get a phone number and maybe an address?  
  
(scene switches to Quatre and Rashid)  
  
Quatre: He was one sexy bitch...  
  
Random Seiyuu (Rashid): ...*starts laughing*  
  
((audition for Duet #1))  
  
Keiryuu Satome: (seiyuu we chose before Duet was cut) Father Maxwell was just like a father... to... me... Little redundant there. Who wrote this?  
  
Kurokawa: *glare*  
  
KS: Oookay... Moving right along...  
  
((audition for Wu Fei #1))  
  
Ryuzou Ishino (Wu Fei): Kill me now! Or I'll keep on coming after to get for you now... TYPO!  
  
Kurokawa: *takes script* No... you just can't read...  
  
((audition for Wu Fei #2))  
  
Wu Fei: My name's Wu Fei. I'm not-  
  
Duet: *opens door to sound booth and walks in* Hey! Um, someone's lights are on in the parking lot...  
  
Wu Fei: BAKA ONNA!  
  
Ikeda: CUT! Keiryuu, we're in the middle of a session!  
  
Duet: Oops... ^___^* Sorry! But um... There's a black Mitsubishi with all it's lights on.  
  
Ikeda: Shit! *runs out of room*  
  
All: *blink blink* *laugh*  
  
((audition for Duet #2))  
  
Duet: I don't know what you're trying to do, but it ends here! *giggle*  
  
Kurokawa: What's wrong now?  
  
Duet: What _were_ they trying to do?  
  
Kurokawa: *twitch twitch*  
  
((audition for Heero #1))  
  
Random Guy Who Didn't Get Part: For you, it'd take a miracle, but I... I... Wait, do I believe in God?  
  
Ikeda: Stick to the script...  
  
RG: *nervous laugh*  
  
Ikeda: You know what? We have a lot of interviews to do today, so-  
  
RG: *laughs harder*  
  
Ikeda: -how about we call you... What's so funny?  
  
RG: Do you know how big a fan I am of the Gundam Wing manga? I mean, it's such an honor to be here and... Oh, it would mean so much to me to even have a small part! I would-  
  
Ikeda: SECURITY!  
  
((audition for Relena #1))  
  
Random Lady Who Didn't Get Part: Those are torpedoes, aren't they? I can tell!  
  
Midorikawa Hikaru (Heero): ...you're quick...  
  
Ikeda: *stifles laughter*  
  
RL: *continuing* What are you planning to do, Heero?  
  
Heero: *checks watch* ...I'm off to eat lunch in about ten minutes...  
  
RL: I'm trying to audition for a part here!  
  
Ikeda: May I join you for lunch?  
  
RL: HELLO!?  
  
Heero: Aw, we're just playing...  
  
RL: Well, your `playing' is interfering with my job!  
  
((audition for Duet #3))  
  
Duet: Great, and I just restocked you stupid bast- Say a prayer for me! I wanted to say something re~ally bad and I didn't...  
  
Heero: O.o* Geeze, I'm sorry already!  
  
Duet: You better be! Perfect soldier my ass...  
  
Duo: Your ass... *wide grin*  
  
Heero: Wow, he makes me look mature and responsible!  
  
Ikeda: *shaking with laughter*  
  
((audition for Dorothy #1))  
  
Random Lady: Wars are-oooh... O.o Lookit her eyebrows...  
  
((audition for Heero #2))  
  
Heero: What else does this thing have!?  
  
Duet: Well... you pull this lever... *points to empty can*  
  
Heero: Where'd the director go?  
  
((audition for Heero #3))  
  
Heero: What else does this thing have!?  
  
Duet: You pull this... This goes... And that goes over there... Thrust that lever for the fang...Oooh, you can see down her shirt when she does... this. *flips manga over*  
  
Heero: Now we know why she can't get her lines! She's to busy checking out her character!  
  
Quatre: Lemme see that... O.O  
  
Trowa: Hey! I wanna see! ... O.O  
  
Heero: People! ...Ooh! O.O  
  
((my lunch with the seiyuu))  
  
Ai (in Quatre's voice): TROWAAA!!!  
  
Tori: *giggle*  
  
Shigeru: Hmmm?  
  
Tori: *giggle*  
  
Ai: Ai shiteru, Trowa-kun...  
  
Tori: *sitting between them, sipping soda*  
  
Ai: *puts hand on Shigeru's thigh*  
  
Shigeru (in Trowa's voice): Quatre, you stupid whore!  
  
Tori: *soda squirts out nose* AHAHAHAHAOWOWOWOW... *holds burning nose*  
  
Shigeru + Ai: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Kurokawa: Would you two behave yourselves!? She's fourteen!  
  
((A/N))  
  
Tori: Yeah, I was fourteen way back then... [A/N 1995...]  
  
Ke: Ah, how your innocence has faded...  
  
Tori: I blame Quatre and Trowa!  
  
Ke: You realize you're the only person here who can honestly say that.  
  
Tori: No, I'm sure plenty readers have accidentally stumbled into 3x4 lemons...  
  
Ke: That doesn't count. You were the only one to lose innocence on the GWing set. What were you doing there anyway?  
  
Tori: I already told you...  
  
Ke: Refresh me.  
  
Tori: I knew broken English!  
  
Ke: Only because your parents were crazy...  
  
Tori: I grew up on that damn set.  
  
Ke: She says `damn set', I say Holy Land.  
  
Tori: *sniffle* Then they shipped me off to America that September...  
  
Ke: Scarred you for life, huh?  
  
Tori: No, that was when they called me home again four years later...  
  
Ke: You just keeping typing and readers just keep not caring...  
  
Tori: I know... R&R folks! 


	2. The seiyuu screw around too much...

**Tori: **Now, as requested, MORE OUTTAKES!

**Kegawa:** Joy.

**Tori: ***giggle*

**Ke: **…?

**Tori: **I CAN'T WAIT TO GO BACK TO THE STATES!!!

**Ke: **Oh yeah… That's why you've been so hyper.

**Outtakes #2**

**Tori: **Again, these are just the ones I can remember, but the last chapter got me thinking about them again. *sniff* Nostalgia… 

((audition for Heero #4))

**Midorikawa (Heero): **Did you see? Oooh. O.o See what?

**Ai(Quatre): **You're stupid…

**Ikeda(director):** Ai, is that something Quatre would say?

**Ai:** If he was written into that scene, yes.

**Ikeda:** …like arguing with a wall…

((audition for Trowa #1))

**Shigeru (Trowa): **Pilot's name: Trowa Barton. For the record.

**Ikeda:** Good job, Shigeru.

**Shigeru: **Who was I talking to again…?

((audition for Wu Fei #3))

**Ryuzou (Wu Fei):** Fighting a weak enemy leaves me feeling minty fresh.

**Kurokawa:** STOP BASTARDIZING THE LINES!

**Ryuzou: **I thought you would appreciate some humor.

**Kurokawa:** I would if I wasn't subjected to your sad interpretation of it on a daily basis.

**Ai: **Ouch.

**Ryuzou: **…stupid woman…

**Kurokawa:** Much better! That's the Wu Fei I want!

**Ryuzou: **Stop messing with my head!

((audition for Quatre #1))

**Ai: **I almost wish he would. 

**Seki Toshihiko (Duo):** AHHHHHHHHHH!!! *runs down hallway screaming like a girl*

**Ai:** *completely oblivious in soundproof booth* Then I'd at least get to see him again.

**Shigeru: ***opens door* We have a crisis. There's a rat in the break room.

**Seki: ***in the background* AHHHHH!!! SOMEBODY KILL IT!!!

((audition for Duo #1))

**Seki: ***trying to concentrate on his lines* His missions have no room for failure-

**Shigeru: ***taps on glass*

**Seki: **Just like mine… *looks up*

**Shigeru:** *breathes on glass and writes something*

**Kurokawa:** WHAT ARE YOU DOING DISRUPTING DUO'S SESSION!?

**Ikeda:** Fire him… Trowa's only got three lines anyway.

((meeting))

**Kurokawa:** Tori, take notes. Ikeda-san and I are going to show you how to correctly conduct a business conference. *leaves for a moment*

**Ikeda:** Is Hiyabasa-san putting you to work?

**Tori: ***nod and smile* [A/N: Oh, I was so well brought up! *rolls eyes*]

**Ikeda:** Do you want me to fire her?

**Tori:** *shakes head*

**Kurokawa:** Good girl. You just earned yourself lunch.

((meeting #2))

**Kurokawa:** *cell phone rings* Give me a moment please. Tori, you're in charge. *leaves to answer it* 

**Seki: ***to Midorikawa*Hehehe… She left Tori-chan in charge…

**Tori: **Toshihiko-san, go sit in the corner!

**Seki: **What?

**Me: **You heard me! I won't tolerate insubordination! [A/N: I had planned this before hand. It didn't just come off the top of my head]

**Seki: ***actually goes and stands in the corner of the room*

**Kurokawa: ***comes back to silent room and sees Seki* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Hajime Yatate (Kurokawa's boss):** Hiyabasa-san, is this your daughter?

**Kurokawa: **Yeah, I wish…

**Seki: ***to wall*Can I sit down now?

((breakfast))

**Ryuzou: ***holds up coffee mug while reading the paper, expecting someone to fill it*

**Ai:** *spits in it*

**Ryuzou: **IT WAS A JOKE! Now I gotta go wash my mug…

((audition for Hilde #1))

**Random girl who didn't get part:** Outer space is affected by war! We can't just sit back and be taken over! 

**Seki: **Yes we can.

**Rg: **This is outer space's decision.

**Seki:** *turns to Ai* So… What does outer space say?

**Ai: **Outer space wants to know who stole her bagel.

((audition for Duo #2))

**Seki: ***watching Pokémon in the break room* 

**Tori: **Toshihiko-san? 

**Seki: **Erk! *changes channel to sports*

**Tori: **Hiyabasa-san says it's time for your audition.

((audition for Duet #4))

**Keiryuu:** *singing to herself while reading her lines to herself* Doki doki wa…

**Seki: ***drapes arm over Keiryuu's shoulder* So how's my favorite-

**Keiryuu: ***elbows him in the stomach*

**Seki: ***gasp*

**Keiryuu: **Oh my God! Seki-chan! I thought you were Shigeru!

**Shigeru: ***looks up from lines* Good to know…

((audition for Trowa #2))

**Shigeru:** Speaking of that unbearable nuisance, where is Duo?

**Kurokawa:** *flips through master script* That's not your line…

**Shigeru: **I know. I just wanted to say that…

((audition for Trowa #3))

**Shigeru: **Where'd you get your Gundam?

**Keiryuu: **I didn't steal it… I bought it off some old guy in the parking lot.

**Shigeru: **We're talking about your Gundam, Kei, not your marijuana.

**Keiryuu:** Ass munch.

**Shigeru: ***flips through script* It better not say that in the script…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

**Tori: **Again, just the ones I remember. But if I get that job I applied for… *crosses fingers* …I'll get to hang around the studio some more!

**Ke:** And what job was that?

**Tori: **What I do best. Translator for the business meetings.

**Ke:** Just what Mr. Ishotari needs…

**Tori: **Did you know I didn't know lemons were actually fruits until I had lemonade?

**Ke: **…random…

**Tori: **I always thought they were just stories…

**Ke: **That explains a lot…


End file.
